About me

Hello, my name is Fumie and I am going to write about myself because it is the topic I consider myself an expert.

I am writing this in english because it's my favorite language so anyway, let's begin.

I am 21 years old, I don't wanna mention my gender and I live in mexico, my native language is spanish and I am currently studying computers.

I am really anti-social and I despise people a lot, I think humans are dangerous to this planet's enviroment and to themselves due to their destructive and selfish tendences in fact I don't trust anyone, I think everyone can cause me harm and to be frank I am tired of being used.

When I was little a lot of people abused me and took advantage of my trust, like there was a kid who was only my friend because I listened to his endless blather and never let me speak a word. I was always seen as a tool by other people so eventually I realized I despise mostly everyone, you can't trust anyone in this world.

I think inteligent people must be either selfish or ill-intended, burglars, manipulators, they all get what they want using other people. That's pretty smart, isn't it? While the good, kind people all just get used like objects.

Even physics teach us only the strong will prevail, so I think while I disapprove of this behavior, I am going to just keep it in mind, I don't want to become particularly happy, I just want to struggle through life so I don't really want to cause harm to anyone but keep in mind something, I am like a grass-eater animal and if something is hurting me, I will simply run away and stay far from it, because I had enough with suffering.

So umm, anyway let's move on. I am a righteous person who believes not in bad and good but rather in what is correct for everyone involed and I am a really... really annoying person when it comes to making rules become followed. Rules are used to mantain an order and NO ONE should not follow them. If something makes me mad are rebellious people and those who hope to violate the rules and get away with it, I truly hate that kind of people.

I am a person who speaks few words, only talking the necessary to avoid any kind of social interaction as social interactions lead only to conflict and trouble, thus I overall tend to avoid to be the first one to make contact in a conversation, furthermore only repeating that I, indeed am a very anti-social person and I prefer to be alone than to be engaged in conflict.

For that, most people consider me as cold and not only that, to further emphatize my dislike for people, my overall personality tends to be easy going and I keep smiling, because although possible, sometimes people tend to appear next to me and express worriness. I do not expect pity from anyone, furthermore this behavior guarantees that no one will come to ask me such questions as "Are you okay?"

I want to be strong and the only way to acomplish that goal is to work alone, because for all, in death I am going to be alone and thus I must overcome all the obstacles life throws at me and never give up.

Like I said, I am someone surrounded by a melancholic miasma and as such, I prefer to be alone but that does not mean I don't enjoy some company from time to time, I must admit there is a certain joy to share experiences with other human beings and I won't let down such an offer. However, take into mind sometimes I might just not be in the mood for company.

Debating is a way of gaining knowledge so I am at all times open for discussions about any topic, I also happen to be a good listener but do not expect pity from me, because if something I only do the right and depending on the situation my insight could not be the kind of advice you had in mind.

I must admit this self-introduction has gotten kinda deep and I deeply apologize for that, but I admit I am far from being a shallow person, I am a well filled of secrets.

I might write something shallow in the future.

To become stronger, I must work alone

Why I must insist on relying on others? Why I must keep waiting for others to pay back? At least positively.

Human instict dictates that all humans are selfish and will only do things if they get a benefit from it, even it it's just plain "kindness" it's all a disguise, humans are horrible and selfish beings who just care about themselves, kindness is made so an all divine god will pay them back, they get a feeling of "I feel good" because they helped someone else, brag about "I help people" or wait for something in exchange.

I highly doubt someone knows what is it to really help others and being selfless, because I know how it feels and why I did it. I used to help others not for me, but because of them, because I loved them and I just wanted for them to be happy even if I was at a loss. What do I win? I thought I won nothing and just did the act of helping.

But I realized what moved me.

I expected to be loved back, yeah, I simply expected that, however one must know something.

All love must be selfless, even though the act of love is pretty selfish, you must love and give your all and expect nothing in return. Never, because for the most cases you will never get anything in return.

For someone who has lived side by side with love, I know my words are certain, I have loved too much in my life and never got anything back and know what? Yeah, I used to expect something from everyone.

But not anymore, everyone in this world is a fucking selfish bastard, no matter who or how close they were to me.

I will eventually stop caring for others, because yeah, though I expected something back in return for my love, I realized even if I waited for all eternity and never got something back, just to be fair... why would these bastards deserved anything at all?

Specially from me, someone people close to me know, someone who gives their all to love.

In the name of love, I will stop this, I will make it so people won't abuse me anymore.